I'm Not Happy Giving

Winter has finally arrived. Football has passed mid season with playoffs and bowl games quickly approaching. Christmas lights are going up (yes, I’ve already seen some), and it is dark by the time I get home from work. With turkey day looming around the corner and holiday dessert gift baskets starting to arrive at the door steps, it’s damn near holiday season. The month or so from the end of November to the end of December is the most festive 30 days of the year, all centered around giving thanks, being with family and friends, and getting sweet presents. Even with all the good vibes, I’ve always had an internal conflict; which is better, Thanksgiving or Christmas?


The obvious answer is Christmas. Most everyone has childhood memories of looking forward to that one moment all year long where you wake up at the first hint of sunlight, realize the long wait is over, and make a mad dash for the Christmas tree and get to shreddin’ some wrapping paper. With age though, that feeling fades a little, and now days I don’t care to get out of bed on Christmas day until the crack of noon. I enjoy giving and receiving gifts, but I don’t enjoy eating top ramen for half the month because I blew my paycheck on iPods and diamond earrings. And something that will beat even the most joyful spirit out of me, Christmas Music. AHHHH!! Every time I go to get groceries, eat lunch, go to the gym, you name it there is Christmas music on. I can’t freakin stand it.

With that said, I now give you the Top 10 reasons I like Thanksgiving more than Christmas.

1. No one gets offended by not getting a Thanksgiving present. My presence alone is enough to make everyone happy. That’s the way it should be. Trying to figure out who you should or shouldn't give a gift to stressful, and there's not a bigger jackass feeling than receiving a package with a bow and having nothing to give back.

2. The food is better. Turkey and stuffing. Done deal. Sure the Christmas food is awesome too, but I don’t start drooling and day dreaming in mid October when someone mentions Christmas dinner. Tell me you've had a better sandwich than the one the day after Thanksgiving. Come on, I dare ya.

3. You always get a 4 day weekend. Christmas can pop up at weird times and getting Tuesday and Wednesday off work but having to go in on Monday and Thursday can ruin a trip and really mess up your holiday cheer. With Thanksgiving being on Thursday, you can get any traveling done Wednesday night and enjoy your PTO.

4. Thanksgiving is the perfect time for front yard football. You ain’t gonna work up that apetite searching for Black Friday specials my friend. Get out there and earn that post-meal nap with a good game of touch football (in laws are fair game for tackling).

5. **Spoiler Alert** Modern day Christmas is based on a make believe fat guy and flying deer. I’m not knocking Christmas as an entirety. I understand that we are celebrating the birth of little 8 pound 6 ounces…new born infant Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, but the sad truth is that that is secondary now days. It’s all about Tickle Me Elmo and Zhu Zhu Pets. Thank you Donald Draper. Thanksgiving is about not forgetting where you came from and knowing it could be a lot worse. Something we all need.

6. Pumpkin pie and pumpkin pie flavored things. Pumpkin pie was Gods gift to desserts. On more than one occasion I have sat down to eat an ENTIRE pumpkin pie. It's the only reason I don't go back for a third plate of food during dinner. There is a good chance I might try to make a Razorback themed pumpkin pie desert this year. I'll keep you posted.

7. It's OK to get wasted on Thanksgiving. You might be thinking "But I can get wasted on every Holiday. It's the only way I can make it through Midnight Mass". Well shame on you for having to get drunk before church, but the entire idea of Thanksgiving is getting everyone together to hang out and appreciate the good times. Sounds like a party to me! I got dibs on cousin Sal for beer pong.

http://www.ranker.com/list/5-reasons-that-make-it-ok-to-get-wasted-on-thanksgiving/elaineyo

8. Everyone celebrates Thanksgiving. You don't have to worry about wishing someone Happy Thanksgiving, where as you might wish one Merry Christmas only to find out they celebrate Hanukkah, Festivus, or Kwanzaa (although that should be hard to miss). I imagine Larry David could make a mess of this subject.

9. Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Three hours of marching bands and giant balloons that would have scared the shit outta those Pilgrims in Plymouth. I'm a fan of a 10000 cubic foot Snoopy Balloon. Can you blame me? The Rockettes are never hard to wake up to either.

10. The final reason I like Thanksgiving more than Christmas is football. Lord, I am thankful for football. The rivalry game is upon us, and we’re going to win that damn boot or I’ll barf all the leftover turkey and liter of bloody mary I just inhaled. LSU is going down like corndogs at Coney Island. As a long time Cowboys fan as well, watching the Thanksgiving Day game is a family tradition.

I'll leave you with this final piece of history. Rotnie Clark went to town hitting 13 of 17 shots behind the arch. Here's his record breaking shot.

It's Getting Better... Sort Of

I think if you asked any Hog fan going into September, they would've taken 4-4 at this point in the season. Too many people, myself included, got too caught up in some of the hype that surrounded a completely unproven team. Subsequently, we got our hopes ripped limb from limb after watching a win against Auburn bookended by back to back SEC losses. But it's got to be looking better, right? In a few short words, I really think it is.

1. For starters, Arkansas has beaten the teams they were supposed to beat, and they've done so in style. The game this past weekend proved that our offense is one of the most dynamic in the nation, and I hope scoring at will will give this team the confidence they need going into the final four games of the regular season.

2. Bobby Petrino is really starting to get away from the stigma that surrounded his exit at Hotlanta, and has started to be a coach fans can get behind. Maybe this will come back to haunt us in the future, but that's like worrying about your Playboy playmate girlfriend cheating on you... no need to worry about the future as long as she's yours now!

3. Joe Adams is back! Wow. I honestly didn't realize how incredible this kid is, but it is evident in his playmaking abilities that he displays week in and week out. I'm not saying we would have beaten Ole Miss had he played that game, but I think Florida is a definite W. He is a gamechanger, and it's wonderful to see him back on the field.

4. We have an actual home stretch. Four games in a row at home is HUGE after having to play at Alabama, at Florida, and at Ole Miss. And let's not forget the fact that we also played in the Death Star, which wasn't exactly a 100% Hog friendly environment. I'm glad this team gets to play several games in a row without traveling and without having to deal with the hazards of the road.

5. Ole Miss sucks. I actually got up on Saturday morning and started drinking at 11 a.m. just to root for Auburn. I'd like to think that Springdale Holiday Inn and I helped to cheer on Gus Malzahn to victory over HDN. While I know my alcoholism had nothing to do with Auburn's win, I know that I loved that Ole Miss loss as much as I loved the Hogs beating up on a terrible opponent.

It's been a nice and quiet week in Hog headlines (except for a that whole special prosecutor investigating our basketball team thing) and I think it's exactly what I needed going into the final four games of the season. I'm looking forward to being in God's country for game on Saturday, and I can't wait to kick of Thanksgiving week with a good old fashioned tailgate at War Memorial Stadium. It may not be exactly what we had hoped for Hog fans, but honestly... it's getting better.

Go Hogs!!!

The Crown Pub Show

One of the most enjoyable parts of the week after a big win is looking back at all of the moments and remembering how great the Hogs looked on the field. In a way, there are never enough highlights. ESPN never seems to play that 5 yard touchdown scamper by a far from stealthy Ryan Mallett. And how on earth did they miss the 70 yard kickoff return by one of the most electrifying return men in the game, Dennis Johnson? To add insult to injury, Sports Illustrated's look back at the Top 25 in pictures showed an Auburn D-back (names McFadden ironically enough) intercepting a deep ball thrown by #15. But despite all of this, it's still all good.

However, there comes a time to move on and to start looking to the opponent ahead. I realize that the coaches and players were already moving on at about 3pm last Saturday, but as fans we love to revel in a good old fashioned ass kicking. So when is the proper time to move on? In my own experience, I have finally gotten my fill after watching one of the most boringly wonderful hours of television ever produced... The Bobby Petrino Show.*

Ever since I was a little kid I remember staying up on Sunday nights with my parents to watch what was originally the Danny Ford Show. Holy s***, if you ever want to hear someone butcher the English language, just watch an hour of Danny Ford talk about the games he coached. I still to this day remember the only player he knew on the entire team was BarrLunneyJunr (one word). Everyone else was "Good play #__." How this man won a National Championship I'll never know.

Then came the decade of Nutt. This was ten years of terrible television that was highlighted by quotes like "Gosh Chuck, you just gotta make that tackle. You bring that guy down and it's a diferent game." Or who can forget "He's a special player. He's a winner. A real fighter." In the words of a famous Alabama dimwit, that's all I got to say about that.

So with the introduction of Bobby Petrino came the introduction of the Bobby Petrino Show. Somehow, it's completely different than the previous 15 years of "entertainment" we've been blessed with, but equally as terrible. I have never seen a man make a huge win seem so damned boring, but somehow Coach Petrino does it. He manages to take what is an offensively spectacular display of passing and rushing and make it seem like the most mundane highlight reel ever put together.

But, for some reason, I've actually found my peace with this situation. It doesn't really bother me that I don't understand half of what the man talks about. I guess it just shows that he knows exactly what he's doing, and his coaching staff really is top notch. I don't really need to see the plays in the order they happen, just as long as I get to see them one last time. And just because Petrino may not be the most enthusiastic man on Earth doesn't mean he does not love the game with everything he's got.

So, if you ever find yourself looking to get that one last Saturday fix, look no further than to one of the most underrated hours television you'll ever find. But don't wait too long to do so, because before you know it, Tim Tebow will be here trying to circumcize your children and baptize your dogs.

~ Crown Pub

* The Bobby Petrino Show airs at 4pm on Tuesday afternoons on Fox Sports Southwest for viewers not currently residing in the Great State of Arkansas